Posts Tagged ‘republican insurance nazis’

CHIFFON WRINKLES TOO EASILY reprise

May 5, 2012

FUNNY STUFF:

From The Original Hollywood Squares TV Show – Peter Marshall host. Questions and answers from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and not scripted.

Q: Do female frogs croak?  A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q: If you’re going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?  A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q: True or false…a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.  A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q: You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you a man or a woman?  A: Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.

Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he’s really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he’s married?  A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish, as you get older?  A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say, “I love you”?  A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q: What are “Do It”, “I Can Help” and “Can’t Get Enough”?  A: George Gobel: I don’t know but it’s coming from the next apartment.

Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking?  A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question, Peter, and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget!

Q: Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?  A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily

Q: Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?  A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I’m too busy growing strawberries!

Q: In bowling, what’s a perfect score?  A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.  One is politics. What is the other? A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?  A: Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.

Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?  A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do? A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.

Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?  A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?  A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!

Q: While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting “Poo! Poo! Poo!” what does that mean?  A: George Goebel: Cattle crossing.

Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body – what is it?  A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn’t neglected!

Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?  A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?  A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q: When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for its sex?  A: Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.

Q: James Stewart did it over 20 years ago, when he was 41 years old. Now he says it was “one of the best things I ever did.” What was it?  A: Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming.

Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A: Charley Weaver: His feet.

RELATED, but maybe not so funny:

Hillary Clinton was mocked for correctly stating that there is a “vast rightwing conspiracy in America.”  We keep dancing all around the edges, but I think we have to take this thing head-on. READ MORE: ; ;

Uncle Sam Lost

ABOUT WAR:

Impression of Alexander the Great addressing his men when they refused to go on:

“Men, I don’t know why the gods set us on this great course, and what may be incomprehensible to me, must be doubly so for you.  And that’s why we have to go on, land after land, obstacle after obstacle, killing everyone who stands in our way, until the gods finally reveal their very great purpose to us.”

His men thought:

1:  Here we have one more useless heroic gesture from the parapet.

2:  It’s done to boost confidence/morale: cast admiring glances, swell with pride, rush/thrill with excitement, ache for the bittersweet glory of battle.

3.  Battle sucks, he’s a putz; and I hope they shoot his ass off before they get mine.

For some reason, his guys bought it; or maybe it was the execution of all the chief dissenters that encouraged the survivors’ understanding and will to carry on.

The troops who march off to war singing generally return silently if they return at all.  There is no sport in war, no winners, everybody loses, and the end result is disaster for some, and lifetime wounds for the rest – invisible, or not, we’re all disabled, dehumanized, and diminished by it, even non-combatants.  Even so, there are always those who yearn for Armageddon, who work for and revel in it, a giant I-told-you-so and a thumb in the eye for all the rest of us who must be made to suffer for ignoring them, I suppose.

The foolish gestures of war; the real heroism clichéd and trite, so prosaic, so real, is desperate stuff – what we console ourselves with as we face or lie dying, contemplate the dead, justify the holocaust. Innocence, forever startled. There is no glory, no promise, and no hope in warfare. Just blood. READ MORE: ; ALEXANDER THE GREAT

“Where Books Are Burned, In The End People Will Burn.”Heinrich Heine

Due to the circus, led by the hateful loonies of Dove Outreach, Dr. Muqtedar Khan counsels fellow-Muslims, if they see Qurans burning, to “recognize this provocation for what it is,” to “let Terry Jones enjoy the monopoly on barbarity,” to heed the Quran: “Forgive them and overlook their misdeeds, for Allah loves those who are kind.” The Nazis, he suggests, taught us all we need to know.

“Books are repositories of histories, of identities, of values. They are the soul of civilization. A society must abandon basic decencies to burn books as a celebratory act. Once it starts burning the souls of civilization, human souls will not be left behind.”

LIFE’S SWEET MYSTERY: Winding Down.

The overall point of the exploration – from my perspective – is to know.  I’ve found that keeping the goal simple is best.  Persons benefiting from robberies, rapes and murders do not care about patterns or predictable outcomes.  As long as they profit in some wise, their behavior goes unchecked.  The rest of us generally seem to suffer in silence until the pain becomes too great.  Cassandra predicted the fall of Troy, while the other Trojans gossiped about Paris and Helen’s big “celebrity sex scandal.”  Thus,

Taoists advise, Go with the flow.

Buddha says, Go forth in joyful participation in the sorrows of the world.

Joseph Campbell counsels, Follow your bliss.

Jacques Cousteau confesses, “I hope for the best, although I can’t say why.”

Gandhi directs, “Act. Without action there will be no result. You may not see it in your lifetime, but without the action there will be no result at all.”

FatLemon encourages, “Keep on keepin’ on, and don’t forget to salute the Man in the Moon.”

Our blessing and our curse is that we are able to see so much, and are still so nearly blind.

Loyd Blankfein, CEO Goldman Sachs. Just say, “Yes!”

2010 in review

January 2, 2011

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Fresher than ever.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 3,300 times in 2010. That’s about 8 full 747s.

In 2010, there were 60 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 117 posts. There were 131 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 62mb. That’s about 3 pictures per week.

The busiest day of the year was August 14th with 71 views. The most popular post that day was YOUR ENEMIES ARE UP.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were allhatnocattle.net, zazzle.com, mail.yahoo.com, statistics.bestproceed.com, and stumbleupon.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for it’s not fascism when we do it, iww, thomas paine, international workers of the world, and republican fascists.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

YOUR ENEMIES ARE UP August 2010

2

REPUBLICAN INSURANCE NAZIS August 2009
1 comment

3

EASTER ISLAND BLUES February 2010
3 comments

4

DENIAL NO LONGER AN OPTION September 2010

5

“THINK MANCHURIAN CANDIDATES” January 2010
2 comments

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

BOOM!

SOME LIGHT, SOME DARK

November 6, 2009

Victory

State of Mind

COAL:

We can’t afford the fiction of “clean” coal anymore.  Coal is dirty.  It cannot be cleaned within the foreseeable future by any known technology – all lies, wishful thinking and futuristic theory certainly not withstanding.

We will kill all life as we know it on this planet if we do not reduce our current rate of carbon emissions.  Trust the science, not the propaganda spin of the coal merchants.  Time is running out for human survival on this earth – and if not this one, which one?  Coal burning accelerates our suicide.

Earth is in the midst of its Sixth Great Species Extinction.  Do we want to go the way of the dinosaurs?  Do we want to watch our sons and daughters, grandchildren, spouse, friends or ourselves die in our own waste and secondhand smoke?

Stop coal energy production at once.  Lead and start mass development of alternative clean energy resources today: wind, water, solar.  Protect life from ignorance, superstition, lack of vision, and selfish greed.

We have to change our basic survival assumptions if we are going to cope with this self-inflicted disaster.  Bite the bullet: stop it now.  Coal is a fuel for dead men on a dead planet.

Spokane Considers Community Bill of Rights by Mari Margil YES! Magazine

Thousands of people voted to protect nine basic rights, ranging from the right of the environment to exist and flourish to the rights of residents to have a locally based economy and to determine the future of their neighborhoods.

Of all the candidates, bills, and proposals on ballots around the country yesterday, one of the most exciting is a proposition that didn’t pass.

In Spokane, Washington, despite intense opposition from business interests, a coalition of residents succeeded in bringing an innovative “Community Bill of Rights” to the ballot. Proposition 4 would have amended the city’s Home Rule Charter (akin to a local constitution) to recognize nine basic rights, ranging from the right of the environment to exist and flourish to the rights of residents to have a locally based economy and to determine the future of their neighborhoods.

A coalition of the city’s residents drafted the amendments after finding that they didn’t have the legal authority to make decisions about their own neighborhoods; the amendments were debated and fine-tuned in town hall meetings.  READ MORE:

http://www.commondreams.org/headline/2009/11/05-8

How a Public Jobs Program Could Put America Back on Track By Julianne Malveaux, The Progressive.

The same nation that created a Works Progress Administration in the 1930s should create another one in the 21st century.

Eighty years ago this week, the stock market crashed and ushered in the Great Depression. We need to apply the lessons from that era to our own to relieve the needless suffering of the Great Recession.

In just two days, between Oct. 28 and 29, 1929, the stock market plummeted by 25 percent. Between September and November of that year, the Dow Jones Industrial Average lost 40 percent of its value. By July of 1932, the Dow had lost nearly 90 percent of its value.

By then the Great Depression was raging, with unemployment rates rising to 25 percent.

To combat unemployment and alleviate poverty, the federal government engaged in a massive public works and jobs program through the Works Progress Administration (WPA).

Private markets weren’t about to create jobs, and the public sector became the employer of last resort. The job creation from the WPA provided survival and sustenance for millions of American families. Where is the contemporary WPA?  READ MORE:

http://www.alternet.org/workplace/143710/how_a_public_jobs_program_could_put_america_back_on_track

Thousands of Right-Wingers Rally at Capitol to Hear Lies About Health-Care Reform, Courtesy of Bachmann and GOP Leaders By Adele Stan, AlterNet.

Days before a health bill is expected to pass the House, Republicans rallied their flock with the help of FOX News, Michele Bachmann and leading conservative groups.

Thousands of right-wingers rallied yesterday on the lawn on the U.S. Capitol building to hear a parade of Republican lawmakers warn them of an alleged threat to their freedom embedded in the secret channels of the health-care reform bill unveiled last week by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. Lawmakers expect to vote on the bill this Saturday.

Congressional star power was provided on the podium by the likes of Michele Bachmann, R-Minn., who called for the rally from the hallowed platform of Sean Hannity’s FOX News program. Other big names on the Capitol podium included House Minority Leader John Boehner, R-Ohio; Joe “You Lie” Wilson, R-S.C., (who got a huge ovation from the crowd) and Whip Eric Cantor, R-Va., who promised that he was doing all he could to ensure that “not one Republican” votes for the health-care reform bill.

Actors Jon Voight and John Deszo Ratzenberger (the guy who played Cliff on Cheers) provided the glamor quotient.  READ MORE:

http://www.alternet.org/politics/143768/thousands_of_right-wingers_rally_at_capitol_to_hear_lies_about_health-care_reform%2C_courtesy_of_bachmann_and_gop_leaders

doodoocaacaapoopoo

REPUBLICAN INSURANCE NAZIS

Jon Stewart Gets Teary-Eyed Over the Plight of Glenn Beck’s Internal Organs

Posted by AlterNet Staff, AlterNet