ODD SHOTS and IDLE PENSEES #4

Paul Ryan – The Monarchists Are Loose

SAY WHAT?

“On a farm with no watch dog, the fox rules the roost.” – Ancient Sumerian proverb.

First rule about dealing with the Devil: Don’t.

Law of Probable Dispersal: “Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.”

Muench’s Law: “Nothing improves an innovation like lack of controls.”

The Thing: “He came in, flew around the room, and right out through the wall.”  Mr. Fantastic: “I suspected as much.” – Fantastic Four.

“If this is love, how come I can’t get your entire head into my mouth?” – Sharkey, Eek the Cat.

I’m not really a neat, interesting, cool, handsome, intelligent, and friendly guy, but I play one on T.V.!

“I think if I saw a dog I knew from the old days, I’d put my arms around his neck, and just tell him everything.  It would really ease my soul.” – Mark Twain.

HOT OFF THE PRESSES:

“It’s ironic here in Hollywood where we make so much fiction, we haven’t needed it today, because we’ve had so much reality.” – ABC Newswoman, Los Angeles, 1/17/94.

“East is east, and west is west, but really, the east is west of here.” – NPR 2-03.

Q: (Today Show) When will action occur? A: (Leon Panetta) Hopefully right before the break, midway, sometime in July.

“Even if you’re a born loser, you can and should be holy.” – Mother Angelica, Cable T.V. Nun.

“Why so many questions? Can’t we just have a little blind faith around here?” – exasperated Sunday School teacher, The Simpsons.

A state legislator accused of sexual harassment apologized:  “I apologize for anything inappropriate I said, but I don’t apologize for what she said I said, because I didn’t say what she said I said.” – Channel 2, Portland, Oregon, 5-7-93.

News item: “Scientists promise that people who die by the age of 50 will be cut in half.”  Maybe they’re using tinier coffins?

“Let me give you a couple of straws of hope in the wind.” — James Q. Wilson, criminologist, MacNeil/Lehrer, 8-24-94

“They reiterate over and over again and again and again.” — Congressperson Lincoln Diaz-Balart, Miami (R), McNeil/Lehrer, 8-26-94

“Mark Pfizer, CEO of Pfizer Natural Health Supplements, died today at age 44 of natural causes.”CNN report, 5/00.

 “RIGHTEOUS” SWORD?

“Some Christians pretend that Christianity was not established by the sword; but of what period of time do they speak?  It was impossible that twelve men could begin with the sword; they had not the power; but no sooner were the professors of Christianity sufficiently powerful to employ the sword, than they did so, and the stake and fagot, too; and Mahomet could not do it sooner.  By the same spirit that Peter cut off the ear of the high priest’s servant (if the story be true), he would have cut off his head, and the head of his master, had he been able.  Besides this, Christianity grounds itself originally on the Bible, and the Bible was established altogether by the sword, and that in the worst use of it – not to terrify, but to extirpate.  The Jews made no converts; they butchered all.  The Bible is the sire of the Testament, and both are called the word of God.  The Christians read both books; the ministers preach from both books; and this thing called Christianity is made up of both.  It is then false to say that Christianity was not established by the sword.” – Thomas Paine, Age of Reason

 LIBERALS and CONSERVATIVES:

MacArthur Foundation “genius” fellow,    University of Wisconsin law professor Joel Rogers, identified as one of 100 Americans most likely to affect U.S. politics and culture in the 21st century, writes, “Public opinion in the United States is conventionally mapped on a liberal-conservative axis understood to run from government do-gooders without values on one end to free marketeering rich people without hearts at the other end. Most people in America place themselves in the middle.  They don’t find either end particularly attractive.  Today, the fight isn’t really between liberals and conservatives but between the workers/consumers/citizens who actually want the economy to reflect our values and those who want to keep things the way they are with a few irresponsible corporations running the country for their own benefit. In that fight we can win.  It’s our country.  Let’s run it for the people.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joel_Rogers

 PAY FREAKIN’ ATTENTION, G’DAMMIT!

I have always had this desire to reach out and grab a person and shake the living bejazzus out of him or her, and yell, “What the hell’s the matter with ya, fer chris’sakes?  Are you nuts?  Wake up, for gawd’s sake!  Wake up, dammit!”

Just like that, with all the histrionic emphasis and shouting.

When I have their attention, and they’re scared witless, I will say, “Sorry to bother you.  I got a little excited.”  And walk away.

 HISTORY’S WITNESSES:

We are witnesses and victims of the greatest robbery in the history of the world – although it galls me to give such credit to the responsible scoundrels.  George W. Bush and his cronies looted the nation, corrupted our laws, and ruined our military and police forces to accomplish their seamless thus far unpunished theft.  While George W Bush postured in the spotlight, prancing like a moronic jester, his minions and handlers cleaned out the cash drawers, stripped the vaults, and dug up or tore out everything of value in the land.  They undoubtedly even took the light bulbs and the toilet paper with them when they fled the Whitehouse.  The world hasn’t seen a plague of locusts, or an Attila the Hun of greater proportion.  They prepared a massively destructive diversion – attack Iraq? – to facilitate and cover up their crimes and escape.  Their crimes surpassed routine Middle Eastern and Biblical disaster events to become a full-fledged global catastrophe.

Did you ever notice that George W. Bush looks a lot like Ted Bundy?

Finley Peter Dunne’s  nationally syndicated Mr. Dooley sketches (1898) included this advice from the pugnacious Irish bartender: “If somebody wants to give you rights, don’t take ’em, there’s probably something wrong with ’em. Rights are meant to be taken, not given.” Anyone up for a full-fledged reform movement?

 STOPPING RAIDS ON THE PUBLIC TREASURY:

Thomas Paine, American Revolutionary War author-patriot, warned us to watch, guide, and stop the powerful elite if we want humanity in general to succeed.  He proposed that any bill that enriches a corporation or grants a corporate charter should be enacted in one session of the legislature, and confirmed in a second, after a vote of the people, to stop corporate raids on the public treasury.

Tom Paine, author-patriot, 1737-1809

OLDER, BUT STILL VER-RY INTER-RESTING:

COULD DICK CHENEY GO TO PRISON? By Ray McGovern, Consortium News.  Cheney seems to fear that if our system of justice works, he could be in for some serious, uncommuted jail time.

http://www.alternet.org/action/141371/could_dick_cheney_go_to_prison/

THE BANK LOBBY’S INSANE ASSAULT ON CONSUMER PROTECTION by Zach Carter, AlterNet.  Even after causing millions of foreclosures and the worst recession since the 1930s, the bank lobby is still trying to screw us.

http://www.alternet.org/workplace/141383/the_bank_lobby%27s_insane_assault_on_consumer_protection/

THE SCANDAL CONTINUES: THE BILLIONS IN GOVT. CASH BEHIND GOLDMAN’S “PROFITS” – by Matt Taibbi, True/Slant.  That Goldman Sachs is getting away with robbery is bad enough – that they’re getting praised for being so smart is damn near intolerable.

http://www.alternet.org/workplace/141417/the_scandal_continues%3A_the_billions_in_govt._cash_behind_goldman%27s_%22profits%22/

LOOK OUT, ARE YOU ABOUT TO JOIN THE WHITE UNDERCLASS? By Joe Bageant, JoeBageant.com.  “We’re starting to hear a little discussion about the white underclass… Mainly because so many middle class folks are terrified of falling into it.”

http://www.alternet.org/workplace/141405/look_out%2C_are_you_about_to_join_the_white_underclass/

LAST WORDS: Richard Halasz

(Real advertisement. Nice shirts too, very good quality. j)

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