Light at the End of the Tunnel
MOTHER’S ADVICE and HUMAN BEHAVIOR:
Mom’s Advice: “Use Clorox to get rid of the DNA evidence. Burn the barn.” – Some CSI-type crime show.
G.W. Bush’s recent efforts to rewrite his history remind me of Ramses the Great (pharaoh of the biblical exodus, if you believe). He is called “great” because he managed to live longer than any other pharaoh and used the time to build more monuments to himself than all his predecessors and successors combined. He had a factory that just turned out busts of his head so that he could knock the heads off other pharaohs’ statues and put his in their place. He advertised himself shamelessly: painting and carving the story of the Battle of Kadesh on every wall and pillar in sight. Kadesh was not even a draw and Rameses quickly signed a peace treaty with the victorious Hittite King, and went back to Egypt. He nearly got himself killed and almost lost his army due to his egotistical rash actions as an inexperienced military leader, but he declared victory from near defeat, and covered up the fact that he came precious close to losing the farm – not just for himself, but for the whole kingdom of Egypt. And that’s why G.W. Bush’s recent rewrite of his history reminds me of Ramses the Great, pharaoh of the biblical exodus, if you believe. G.W. became president of the United States by the skin of his teeth and the lies on his lips: the same way Ramses II became “Great.” – 11/04.
“Did Benjamin Franklin give up when the Germans shot down his kite?” – T. J. Detweiler pep talk, Recess.
“The body politic is a healthy mix of the rich and the ignorant.” – Waylon Smithers, Simpsons.
Brodeman Area 10: critical site for human brainpower, attention, taking care of children…
BASIC HUMAN BEHAVIOR: – Groups of primitive men died out if they couldn’t get women. They died earlier if they were injured, or ill and couldn’t get food, clothing, or shelter. So, they stole women, if necessary, killing their previous partners, if necessary. Of course, this made women objects, or property. Leaders made their place by leading successful raids for women, and encouraging procreation for the social security of the group. If the leader failed in this, group members could stay and hope; or leave and take their chances at finding and joining a new group; or more remotely, establish a group of their own – asserting a “superior” leadership ability to “get chicks.”
Dominant species tend to eat themselves out of house and home and then go extinct.
Chin, the first emperor of China, believed mankind was inherently evil and needed autocratic control. He “ended history” and burned all the books. He buried scholars alive to suppress all opposition. He destroyed the intellectual heart of his country to prevent any challenge to his irrational rule.
Getting ready for the hero quest? Here are some essential supplies: special horse; special sword; power ring; bucket of white wash; and a big bag of bullshit.
“First, I can calculate how long it will take to get an elephant to France from Egypt. Second, I can get men to die for me who don’t even know what they’re dying for.” – Napoleon, explaining his military success.
“Of course he has a knife. He always has a knife. We all have knives. It’s 1183 and we’re barbarians. How clear we make it. Oh, my piglets, we are the origins of war not history’s forces, nor the times, nor justice, nor the lack of it, nor causes, nor religions, nor ideas, nor kinds of government, nor any other thing. We are the killers. We breed wars. We carry it like syphilis. Inside. Dead bodies rot in the field and stream because the living ones are rotten. For the love of God, can’t we love one another just a little? That’s how peace begins. We have so much to love each other for. We have such possibilities, my children. We could change the world.” – Eleanor Queen of England (Katherine Hepburn).
“There is a thin line between reasonably just and human and just an emotionless functionary!” — said of WWII German war atrocities, “only following orders defense,” World at War, epilog.
“Judge the government on its outcomes, not its form.”– Machiavelli, The Prince.
J. Edgar Hoover made lists so that people could be rounded up and persecuted more efficiently. His reputation rested upon compromising ephemera that took him a lifetime to collect.
Astrology, advertising, politics, and religion are all purposefully ambiguous, in order to encourage the practitioner to see whatever it is that they wish to see, and learn to ascribe all failure to achieve success as personal, rather than systemic.
Mua’dib: Aren’t you ever afraid, Stil? Stilgar: Of what? Mua’dib: Of the future. Stilgar: No. The future, Mua’dib, just is. – Dune, Frank Herbert.
One light year is six trillion miles!
In order to control the mind one must control the body. That’s the primary reason religions proscribe sex and cleanliness.
“There’s absolutely no point in asking for something expensive if there’s nobody there to hear you.” – Hyacinth Bucket (Patricia Routledge), Keeping Up Appearances.
“I’ve never seen it fail with self-serving people – they always have some sort of noble purpose for doing what they do.” – Robert Taylor, Valley of the Kings.
“These days doctors can keep people alive way past their usefulness.” Hugh Neutron, Jimmy Neutron.
“Church Potluck: What a Friend We Have in Cheese Puffs!” – church sign, Simpsons.
Sound Advice:
“I wouldn’t try running away. I’m younger than you; I’m trained for it; you wouldn’t make it.” Archie, Nero Wolfe.
“No one gives a crap about labor if they can get a delicious sandwich.” Squidward, Sponge Bob.
“If you don’t help me, I’ll have to ask total idiots for help, and they are notoriously unreliable.” – Sheen, Jimmy Neutron.
Absurdities: Charlie Sheen as Aramis, advising Chris McDonald as D’artagnan in Three Musketeers.
The relativity and transience of the world makes all things relative and transient.
“The Mole knows things he does not even suspect!” – The Mole, Ozzy and Drix.
“One cuts it and the other gets first choice.” – How brothers should share pie, Baxter Black, PBS.
“It’s very hard to be content when you can’t achieve.” – Inspector Morse, Midsommer Murders.
“No justice, no peace.” – Melvin Van Peeples.
“A strong man needs a weak people; a strong people don’t need a strong man.” Zapata (Brando), Viva Zapata!
“While you’ve been fighting, others have set sail in your boat. Maybe that should be a proverb.” Uncle, Avatar.
“I say, live fast, die hard and leave a fat corpse.” – Bart, Simpsons.
Victory is a State of Mind
LAST WORDS:
“Because WINDOWS was not properly shut down by selecting Shut Down from the Start Menu, your disc may have one or more errors on it. To avoid seeing this message again: wear a blindfold; switch to MAC; bury your head in a cow’s ass; poke your eyes out; be creative.”
Tags: astrology, barbarians, battle of Kadesh, behavior, Benjamin Franklin, bible, buddha, clothing, emperor, england, environment, evil, exodus, extinction, family, George Bush, god, Hittite, J. Edgar Hoover, jesus, Katherine Hepburn, light at the end of the tunnel, lion in winter, love, Mom, mysteries of the bible, napoleon, old testament, peace, president, religions, simpsons, social security, torture, victory is a state of mind, women, World War II
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