More ODD SHOTS and IDLE PENSEES Nr. 9.
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[More thisses and thats collected over time].
Since the beginning, religion has been in conflict with secular authority for dominance over society. Oddly, the claim to any moral high ground is suspect on both sides, and peculiar to neither.
The prissy spell check: I typed “bullcrap,” it wanted me to use: “bull rap,” “bullyrag,” or “fulcra.” I don’t see how “fulcra” can even remotely echo or apply, unless used to fling the bullcrap.
Movie recurring bit: guy in back of any group, who periodically yells, “Louder!”
“He’s about as useful as a glass eye at a keyhole.” Aladdin character, Sci Fi Channel.
On learning that Paris Hilton “copyright”-ed the phrase, “That’s hot!” What idiotic bemused copyright official okayed that? Def: Parasite – a follower of, or someone emotionally, ethically, and mentally very like Paris Hilton. Pray for a cure.
“Finally, I just stopped caring. Fortunately, it was the 80’s and no one noticed.” Rev. Lovejoy, Simpsons.
“We saw you boys crawling in there like rats after a dumpster cracker.” – Cindy, Jimmy Neutron.
“Don’t worry. I got money. I bought stock in a mace company just before society crumbled.” Selma, Simpsons.
Dominant species tend to eat themselves out of house and home and then go extinct.
“Make Love Happen guarantee at Match.com.” Now that’s chutzpah.
BASIC HUMAN BEHAVIOR: – Just the tidbit to piss off all members of the “gentler sex”:
Groups of primitive men died out if they couldn’t get women. They died earlier if they were injured, or ill and couldn’t get food, clothing, or shelter. So, they stole women, if necessary, killing their previous partners, if required. Of course, this made women objects, or property. Leaders made their place by leading successful raids for women and encouraging procreation for the social security of the group. If the leader failed in this, group members could stay and hope, or leave and take their chances at finding and joining a new group, or more remotely establish a group of their own by asserting a “superior” leadership ability to “get chicks.”
Ancient Egyptian remedy: Honey kills bacteria and can be used to disinfect wounds.
“A man’s motives are secondary to his accomplishments.” Senator (and Bush administration toady-crony) Fred Dalton Thompson as DA on Law and Order.
“Don’t worry, Jimmy. You tried your best and it wasn’t anywhere near good enough.” Sheen, Jimmy Neutron.
The unabashed partisan thievery of the national treasure by Bush and the neo-conservatives makes it perfectly clear that we should remove e pluribus unum from the dollar bill and replace it with caveat emptor.
“E.D. Erectile Dysfunction” Levitra ad. All these TV ads for guys who can’t get it up, so sorry, too bad. Hard-ons for everyone comin’ right up! Sex as obsession, compulsion, addiction, and consumer demand: where did love go? Try EwwHarmony.com.
This country has no dream; it united a bunch of strangers in greedy competition. Life is to be consumed like a sandwich, fast and fat.
“In the case of gods, death is only a matter of prejudice.” Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra.
Tee-shirt idea: “I copped out entirely at the Rolling Stones Ameriquest Tour, starring Sir Mick Jagger, and his faithful squire Keith Richards.”
“Swenson Abortion Clinic – ‘We’ll bring out the kid in you.’” The Show.
Nothing is a problem that doesn’t cripple, or kill you.
“Marge, you’re the latest bruise on my shin.” Rev. Lovejoy, Simpsons.
“You are a smudge on history’s ledger, but you are my brother.” Agamemnon (Rufus Sewell) to Menelaus, Helen of Troy.
“The problem with the world is there’s too many stupid people, and nobody to eat them!” Carlos Mencia.
It is time once again to stop the monopoly over science, learning, and free thought that the forces of ambition, greed, ignorance, and superstition called religion always try to claim for itself.
Shark Boy and Lava Girl, written by the 15-year old son of George Romero is AWWFFULLL-L. Worse than Romero’s crappy Lost and Found in Mexico (Once Upon a Time in…)
Getting ready for the hero quest? Here are some essential supplies: special horse; special sword; power ring; bucket of white wash; and, a big bag of bullshit.
The profane causes of national enmity are fortified and inflamed by the venom of religious zeal.
Guilt and blame, don’t make ‘em; don’t take ‘em. They only slow you down.
Priests and preachers are loudest and most active in the destruction of diversity.
“We all need a little luck, but it’s also about how well you play your bad cards.” Roxanne Rhodes, Ladies’ Poker Guru, PBS.
“Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.” Old saying.
Former Senator Gordon Smith (R. Oregon) bragged about “how much face time he gets with the President.” He didn’t realize it wasn’t the President’s face; he thinks George just has a funny nose.
Risin in hemlock – couple of seeds = le morte.
Carpet viper, 2’ long, very, very aggressive, highly toxic.
Modern movie making is heartless. See: George Lucas and James Cameron.
“I know, ’Everyone is special,’ which is just another way of saying no one is.” Dash, The Incredibles.
“Barbarians don’t have an education, so they go for the nearest thrill.” History Channel professor.
Terri Shiavo Chapter, League for the Preservation of the Totally Brain Dead.
How often do we answer a question without understanding it? What is a tree? Is it pine, or elm, or oak?
Phrase to hate: “Be they be…” Be they be a busy bee?
“Our faces are on a thousand people who came before us and in the glances of a thousand more who follow after us.” Hittite, 1300 BCE.
George W. Bush is so bad he should be condemned to hell to eat dead shit-filled Repuglicons for the rest of eternity.
Krusty Burger Watchamacarcass Sandwich. Simpsons.
Quid pro quo: one for another, tit for tat.
“We never say anything unless it’s worth taking a long time to say.” Ent Tree, Lord of the Rings.
How about Sundance Cassidy and the Butch Kid? Whole ‘nuther flavor.
Whenever we come to the Book of Revelations we must always ask the same question, “Who wrote this crap?”
Does a cat’s life have cosmic meaning? If not, why so ours? We give our lives meaning, search for it, but the cat doesn’t ask why it’s in the world. It just is, and its agenda is to survive happily and comfortably until it dies. How is that different from us? You don’t have to ask a cat why it’s lying in the sun.
Marcus Aurelius’ Four Virtues of Man: wisdom, justice, fortitude, and temperance.
Chin, the first emperor of China, believed mankind was inherently evil and needed autocratic control. He “ended history” and burned all the books. He buried scholars alive, designed to suppress all opposition. He destroyed the intellectual heart of his country to prevent any challenge to his irrational rule. It sounds like the Koch Brothers’ distorted social agenda for America.
The guy on the History Channel just said, “Eisenhower was blunt with his staff.”
“Of course he has a knife. He always has a knife. We all have knives. It’s 1183 and we’re barbarians. How clear we make it. Oh, my piglets, we are the origins of war not history’s forces, nor the times, nor justice, nor the lack of it, nor causes, nor religions, nor ideas, nor kinds of government, nor any other thing. We are the killers. We breed wars. We carry it like syphilis. Inside. Dead bodies rot in the field and stream because the living ones are rotten. For the love of God, can’t we love one another just a little? That’s how peace begins. We have so much to love each other for. We have such possibilities, my children. We could change the world.” Queen Eleanor of England (Kate Hepburn), Lion in Winter. REPLY: “While we hugged each other, what would Phillip [King of Spain] do?” Son Geoffrey, in reply.
I don’t know if the cobra’s bite confers immortality as the Egyptian ancients have it, but it surely conveys eternity.
Wherever we are is always less than where we were yesterday. Eden is always lost; Paradise is always behind us, or ahead.
Tags: assert superior leadership by ability to get chicks, basic human behavior, erectile dysfunction, helen of troy, hero quest, honey kills bacteria, impeach the supreme court five, Lord of the Rings, monopoly over science, paradise is ahead or behind, profane causes of national enmity inflamed by religious zeal, right wing supreme court, simpsons, thus spake zarathustra