HACKING JACK’S

[ ODD SHOTS and IDLE PENSEES Nr. 10!! (New old stuff)]

“Hacking Jack’s Fine Cigars” Sign, Futurama.

“I prefer the hands-on touch you can only get with hired goons.” Mr. Burns, Simpsons.

“God, give me strength to be what I want to be, and forgive me for being what I am.” Antonio Banderas, Desperado.

Q: What’s it like in your little dream world? A: A little humid. One nanobot to another, Jimmy Neutron.

“There’s nothing like a little bit of truth to sell a big lie.” Barnaby, MidSommer Murders.

Excessive greed precedes the collapse of civilization. Archeology hypothesis (Mayan/Roman, etc.).

No nation in history has ever escaped the consequences of its own hubris.

“Thank god we live in a country so hysterical over crime we can try a ten-year old boy as an adult.” Mr. Burns, Simpsons.

If you want fantasy, go to the movies, a singles bar, or church.

“Take Memoprove and forget memory problems!” T.V. ad. Blanks your mind?

“I don’t have time for this! I’ve got 75 shortcakes to strawberry!” Chef, Simpsons.

“Dead man’s nothing but a corpse. Nobody cares who he is now.” Sgt. Zack, Gene Evans, The Steel Helmet.

“Men fear death as children fear the dark.” Sir Francis Bacon.

“Those who seek justice, fall prey to it.” Character, The Reckoning. Tell George Bush.

“With the 14th moon, there’s always tomorrow and hope.” Millennium Actress.

Hope never filled a soup bowl.

Sign of overpopulation: everyone walking about in headphones to find “a bit of peace,” “relief,” and “escape.”

The Hot-house Generation never saw the outside world, house to car, to _____, to _____. Keep the children safe, ignorant, cloistered, de-socialized, apart, and vulnerable to the Selling Man, the Killing Man, the Using Man, the Man Man. Debunk. Poem?

What culture, nation, state, religion, tribe does not have a warning fable, prophecy, or prediction of apocalyptic doom arising from the outraged conscience of their few best citizens over the excesses of their mediocre and multitudinous worst?

Rock band name: The Dime-a-dozen American Tin Idol Band.

America is an assemblage of pirate gangs, regulated by a loose, barely-effective civil administration, which permits rivals to co-exist within some semblance of reason and peace, passing as law and order.

Disney continues to “rock.”  In the animated movie Cars, automobiles get the sexual hots for one another, and cooperate to achieve laudable goals.  Oh, fer chrissakes.

“I’ve heard it said that out of men, bishops are made!” – Cervantes, Man of Glass.

“This just isn’t the same cold, oppressive place I built with the sweat and toil of others.” Evil Emperor Zurg, Buzz Lightyear.

“I’m always up for a bit of adventure, Valerie, but you’re getting rather slapdash, aren’t you?” Art instructor to student, Midsommer Murders.

“Self-improvement is best handled by people who live in big cities.” Marge Simpson, Simpsons.

Flattery can get you practically anywhere. Staying there afterward gets tricky.

“I’m used to humiliation, but not in front of a crowd this size.” Edna Krabopple, Simpsons.

“We should have given Bobby a pager. He might have become a drug dealer, but at least we’d always know where he is.” Peggy Hill, King of the Hill.

Pornography is in the eye, ear, heart, mind, and sometimes, hand, mouth, and ass of the beholder.

Want to ruin someone? Apply the faggot label. True or false, it will travel with them like a telltale stain on a trouser front.

“Everything has continuity. Water boiled becomes steam and vapor and goes somewhere. Wood burns and becomes ash and goes someplace. Why should the human soul be the one thing in the universe that goes no place?”

New-generation aphorism: “As irregular as crotchwork.”

Kant said that no one could or would ever empirically establish whether or not god exists, so why bother? The people scurrying about the “Holy” Land gathering up broken pots in ancient garbage heaps, and digging out the battered remnants of distant lives, will not thereby prove or disprove the presence of any holy spirit at any site at any time. The fact that some bricks are scorched in Jericho and that the prostitute-traitor’s house (read the book) “may be that one” are conclusive of destruction, but mute on the subject of an invisible god’s genuine and verifiable machination causing it. But people need to believe: in anything, in something, the more hopeful, the better. The less plausible, still acceptable (see: Mormons, Scientologists, the knuckleheads in tenny-runners who went off to see the comet, Jim Jones, et al), provided the final reward remains colossal (so you want to be a millionaire?). Hope, a.k.a. faith, springs eternal for all of us, and, as Martha says, “That’s a good thing.” However, “wishing on a star” doesn’t pay the bills.

What would Shakespeare do?

Consciously making “it” happen doesn’t work; “it” happens naturally, without seeming thought. “It” is a flow, a process, a becoming.

“Faith is belief in things unseen,” said “St. Paul” a.k.a. Saul of Tarsus, inventor of the Paulist Christian doctrine, which was adopted by the Roman Emperor Constantine as a weapon against his political enemies. It is in fact, anything anyone wants it to be. Believe it, or not.

Boy, work overtime for rotten villain of the year category:Sudden Terror on School Bus 17. A S.W.A.T. team pursues a school vehicle commandeered by a man who threatens to kill its driver, and her charges, emotionally handicapped children.” T.V. movie.

Character names (use at will): Lance Pollips; Cole Chatterton

“You obviously care about as many people as you can touch at one point in time.” enthusiastic John Basow (exercise guru) fan.

“I have not come this far, and done what I’ve done, to be stopped by anyone. Not even my own son.” Pharaoh (Jack Hawkins), Land of the Pharaohs.

I wish you the highest success, and all the justice you deserve.

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